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Dr. Hilarity and the Curious Case of Coughs

Last days in Chumphon

So I came home from school early because my cough is kicking up a bit. Its a kind of hoarse painful cough that i really dont dig and i'm pretty keen to fix it. I went down to Mr. M's and had a chicken cashew that was so good I had another. Then P-boy and Jeng took me into Chumphon to the hospital to sort out my cough. There is something so universally soothing about going into a hospital when you are sick, something comforting about the air of competence and sterility. I whipped out the neccesary documents and waited to see my doctor. Some of the girls came with me to go shopping so I have requested a dose of Mr. Donut to pick me up when we pick them up.

A lady comes and takes me to the doctors office. He is a kind of cheeky looking doctor like one you would see on scrubs. He does a little questioning and decides that I need to have an x-ray. So another lady comes and takes me to the x-ray office. Another lady takes my x-ray and another lady takes me back to the doctors office. He pulls out the x-ray sheet and he puts it up on the wall. He then is silent. I am a little worried by now and try to chill out. The doctor then speaks. 'These are your lungs.' And is silent. Yes thanks doc i know that much already. He then speaks again, while pointing with an efficient stick. 'This is your heart, its good.' Pause. 'This is your liver, its good.' Paaaause. 'These are your ribs. Pause. They are good also.' Pause. After naming everything in the x-ray with appropriate pauses and evaluations the doctor turns to my lungs.

He pulls out a peice of paper and draws an outline diagram of lungs. He then pauses. He then scribbles viciously in the lungs till they have big sore pen marks in them. He then pauses. This is pnemonia, he says. What i have pnemonia?!?!? He pauses, 'No this is what pnemonia looks like, this is not for you.' I sigh in relief as he draws up the next diagram. Pause. He now has a clean diagram. He then draws horrid looking circles and scratches in the lungs and pauses. 'This is tuberculosis.' He then pauses. WTF i have TB??!?! 'No no this is not for you.' Pause. He then draws a new diagram, with deadly circles in it. Pause. 'This is cancer.' By now im just freaking out, WTF i have cancer? 'No no this is not for you.' He draws a new lung and continues this hilarious game of brinkmanship until im fairly sure all serious lung diseases have been covered. He draws a final diagram that looks mildly uncomfortable as opposed to TB. 'This, this is Bronchitis.' Pause. Slowly i say, i have bronchitis?.....'Yes. This is for you.' Ahhh I sigh in relief as he explains that it is common at the moment and I just have to take 4 different drugs 3 times a day for a few days and I will be fine. Thank Jeebus that hilarious episode is over. Watch scrubs and work on your bedside manner Dr. Tension!!!!!!!!

That night we went to a groovy kind of local dig that Jeng and P-boy took us too where they play like Ska Reggae in Thai. They knew P-boy so he did a little rocking cameo guitar effort. Good little night but I was pretty damn tired. Next couple of nights I have shitty coughing addict smoky shit sleeps so I often go downstairs to the lobby with my sheets around me like a cape and listening to music I do a sleepy ghost shuffle around the lobby which would have sketched anyone who was up at those ridiculous hours. I cleany frenzy my room and write and read a lot on the balcony. It was about this time in the trip that i posted my first blog. I begin to feel much better.

Its getting down to last days with Alice now which is pretty sad. We lie in my room and listen to music, all wearing tie-dye and the sun comes straight through turning her hair copper-gold and her eyes amber brown swirls. The firekites are playing and i am very happy. It will be sad to part but i wouldnt trade meeting her, the pain is part of the deal. We finish teaching in a few days but Alice is coming to Bangkok with me and I am meeting Maddy there so that will be a good few days.

The drugs for the cough are pretty strong and im lying on my bed with some driving ballads going (Boston yea?) and the view is amazing. The red wall of the balcony and the bloor door of the room frame my sight. All i can see is blue sky and white cloud and its like i am in a room that opens out into the sky itself. Sweet.

Before i know it we have our last day and night in Chumphon. For the last night we just hang out at the bar and have a laugh, play some good tunes. I'll sure miss P-boy and Jeng and the whole place its just so damn relaxing. Our last day at school was really cool. I actually had an alright sleep so i felt pretty good. When we got there we were told it was a day of service at the temple so we walked up with all the kids to the local buddhist temple. It seems that every month all the locals bring food and donations for the monks and they recite sutras (teaching of the buddha) and bless everyone. The service started with a deep gong being rung and all the monks walking up from the garden, old to young they enter the temple, prostrate to buddha and sit down facing the people. The last monk walks in late, throws a cigarette into the garden and sits down. The children are the quietest ive ever seen them as the people and the monks begin chanting. Everyone has such a deep respect for their religion. After chanting the monks partake of ritual food and the rest is stored. The chanting continues and at one stage all the feral dogs started to howl in unison with the chanting in a way that made the hair on the back of my next stand up. Afterwards a monk splashed holy water on us and we walked back to school.

Lunch was excellent at school and it was time to each our last classes, the 2's and 3's. We had a lot of stickers left so we basically spent the whole lesson playing and i had a few sheets of australia tattoos so i tattooed kids. Kids from other classes came and planes flew, windows shook, balls bounced and finally the bell rung. We had a good whole school photo and some of the kids gave us thank you letters. We played some table tennis and then headed back to the guesthouse. We drove into Chumphon and bought chicken and beef and vegetables to have a good ol bbq back at the bar. Made up some nice veg meat skewers and it all tasted pretty alright.

P-boy drove us to the station and everyone stood in the door to wave us off, it was pretty kinda sad cause they are all ace people but thats how it goes, things change. I really hope I see P-boy again he is such a mad dude. We jumped on the night train and began our rattly exodus to the big city.

Posted by codywant 07:17 Archived in Thailand

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